TalulaZoeApple

Feeling Extra, Extra Single.

Someone I know is getting married. There is wedding planning discussions all the time, which I sometimes initiate and enjoy. However, this crap has me feeling extra, extra single.

Discussing this extra, extra single phenomenon with a friend. She says, "I was in a meeting and everyone had a wedding ring except 1 senior citizen, a gay guy and me!"

What the heck is going on?

I went to dinner twice - by myself.  I sat at the bar. Why? Because hostesses do not respect you when you dine alone. Now the bar is supposed to be the area where you attract attention, right? Yeah, a guy asked to borrow my salt.

Got an oil change and the guy who complimented my looks last visit, comes and sits behind me as I pay, (he always does this), walks me out and opens my car door. He is super duper cute but he DOES NOT ask me out.

This is kinda sucking big time.

Signed,

Single, black and not dating anyone yet, still. lol

Heat Damage - Natural Hair

Being natural is rewarding and frustrating simultaneously.

My curls were not as buoyant as they had previously been so I decided to get my ends trimmed. I went to a hair stylist that shall remain nameless to have her straighten and clip my ends.I opted for heat straightening to get the most precise cut possible.

I most preface this by saying I do not go to hair salons because the typical mentality of a traditional hair stylist is the antithesis of my natural hair mentality. In my experience, traditional stylist think kinks, naps and curls are the devil and will do anything to get your stresses bone straight.

Needless to say, as always, the stylist over processed my hair. By over processed I mean used too much heat. A couple of times. I felt my hair adhering to the flat irons. Now I have a couple of straight spots that will not re-curl. This is a sign of heat damage.

The stylist was not bad. The cut and style were beautiful. It is just that the method was flawed and left me with slightly damaged hair.

I, now, need a non-heated technique to clip my ends. Will update when I find one that works.

Latino and Black

There is a new PBS documentary, "Black and Latino." The issue of colorism among people of Latino descent is discussed.

I find this clip very interesting. A lot of the same issues of light skinned/dark skinned that are discussed among African Americans, in this documentary have a spanish twist.

 

And yes that is Laz Alonso looking all types of yummy in this video. lol

Suprisingly Latino:

1. My girl, Lola Falana. Her father was a Cuban immigrant.

2. Tatynana Ali - Panamanian and Trinidadian descent.

 

Toni Braxton, A Comeback?

Toni Braxton is a favorite artist of mine. I ain't gonna lie. *fifty-tyson voice*

I watch the WeTv hit, the Braxton Family Values every week - on the internet of course, no cable.

I was perusing the internet and came across a little video of Toni B. dishing on new music to debut next month, I Heart U.

 

I have to confess my fav Toni Braxton album is Secrets. That album got me through my first heartbreak. So, of course, it is dear to me.

I think future musical success for Toni does not lie in trying to replicate Secrets but in producing great songs like Secrets.

With the right combo of great music and promo, I am certain Ms. Toni Braxton will dominate the charts again.

What say you?

Things I Love To Wear Out

When I find something good, I stick with it! Music, food, clothes - whatever.

I am the type of person who starts to listen to a CD and does not finish the CD for months because I have kept one song on repeat. lol

I had a pair of jeans that I had for like 4 years. They were so perfect in fit, style, comfort - everything. Finally, the seam popped. lol I had to, remorsefully, put them in the trash.Now I do not have a good pair of jeans.

I wear out:

1. A good dress.

2. A flattering hair style.

3. A good song.

4. A great book. I have read, "Their Eyes Were Watching God", soooo many times.

I am definitely a "stayed too long at the fair" kind of girl. I am trying to find temperence in this area of my personality. I am also trying to venture out and try new things.

In the area of dating, I do not want to find a nice guy and keep him on repeat until the interest wears off. No used to getting sold on the very first one. *Cue Smokey Robinson.* I am going to shop around.

 

The Myth of the Angry Black Woman - Image is Everything

I ran across this video over at Women of High Standard. In the clip First Lady Michelle Obama briefly addresses the "angry black woman," image that opponents  have tried to portray her as.

Any image of FLOTUS Michelle Obama that I see, she is always poised and professional. What has she done that could be described as "angry."

I think images are powerful and one reason I had to stop watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

 

 

Why is it in the age of Michelle Obama, the country has seemed to rally around the RHOA breakout start, Nene Leakes?

I think it is unfair to point out Leakes as a representative of all black women but, again, images are powerful.

Nene Leakes' character on the show is the  angry black woman stereotype and to a smaller degree so is Sheree Whitfield's on air persona. I say "on air persona" and "character" because reality tv is not, in fact, real. Who in real life has producers prompting drama and cameras filming their every move?

Paying Your Tithes Is A Blessing

When I pay my tithes, I remember when I was unemployed. Times got tough. Now I am employed and consider it such an honor to have the ability to pay tithes. 

I also understand being faithful to God and feeling like there is just no way that you can pay tithes when you are barely scraping by. I have been there, too. 

God knows and understands all but let me encourage you to pay tithes. 

It is not about the church. It is not about the preacher. It is not about how you feel. 

It is about the sacrifice. God honors the sacrifice. If you do not believe me, ask Abraham.

I had to get some work done on my car. Something said do not pay your tithes you need to fix your car. How are you going to get to work with no car? Blah, blah, blah. Worries snowballing into more worries. 

Well, long story less long. My repairs are covered by the warranty minus my deductible of $50. This is so much less than what I paid in tithes. 

Did you catch it!

God blessed me in a way I did not expect. In turn I blessed someone else. Blessings snowballing into more blessings!

You cannot pay God for a blessing. I believe that I am blessed no matter what. However, there is a special anointing on the sacrifice. When the sacrifice is dear (see Abraham and Isaac), God will provide a "ram in the bush."

Be blessed readers!

But He Has Potential!

But He Had Potential.

   
 
When it comes to attraction to a man, what a woman  likes at 18 is different than what she likes at 30. If I could impart any aged wisdom to young women looking for a mate - look with you more mature lens. Project your future.

Maybe he is not the typical captain of the football team but captain of the chess club. Maybe his hair does lay down with baby oil but rises like steel wool but he has potential. He may be nerdy now but does he have "potential"?
 
When you are younger you go for that spark but as you mature you choose what is smart. Like Lauryn Hill said,
 
           

           "What you want might make you cry
            What you need might pass you by
            If you don't catch it,
            If you don't catch it,
            And what you need ironically
            Will turn out what you want to be
            If you just let it,
            If you just let it"

 

I love that youtube clip. I know Sherri is kicking herself about shading Hill Harper. Talk about potential.

"You Would Make A Wonderful Mother"

At a Starbucks with a few ladies and the conversation gathered around the subject of children. I mentioned to the ladies that I had always wanted to adopt a child even as a really young girl. Two of the more mature ladies say, "Oh you would make a wonderful mother." I have NO idea why but I almost choked up a little.

Craziness!

It is especially crazy seeing that the other woman present had previously said to me, "You just don't like children."  lol

Truth is - I love children. I would love to have a houseful as long as I am in a happy marriage and financially set. 

What I absolutely do not love is the idea of pushing a baby out of my va-jay-jay! lol Whose idea was that? I guess that is the best method of delivery and women have been doing it for millenia but um. . .

I actually dreamed once several years back that I was at a dining room table introducing someone to my four children. They all had black shiny, curly hair. 

Most of my dreams have been coming true so time will tell. But the timing is God's. I will submit to that. 

Until then I will enjoy my freedom. 

Smile, It Is Your Birthday

My sister woke me up with a phone call at 6:16 AM singing, "Its ya birthdya, it's ya birthday!" lol In my family we have an unofficial contest about who is the first to wish someone a happy birthday. So suffice it say, this year she has won.

In typical my-life fashion, the buildup to this day was drama filled. For 3 days last week, every time I looked at the clock the time showed 1:17. Like seriously. 

Then 2 nights before, I lost my file at work and had to redo an entire exercise that set me a full day behind all of my fellow trainees. 

Last night, some neighbor was blasting Indian rock. Yes, like rock music with a flair of India. 

I kept my cool. I was determined not to let the devil steal my joy because that is what he is - a thief.

A girl at work gave me a neat idea. Instead of going out and spending money on a birthday celebration day, treat myself to dance lessons. I may do acting classes or something equally fun! 

Happy, Happy, joy, joy! My joy belongs to me - a gift from God. I was extra joyous when I found out at the end of the day that on my next paycheck to expect a RAISE!!!

HALLELUJAH! Happy Birthday to me!